It's that time of year agaaaaaain

Of all the chores that I can think of that I have ever done, I hate mowing the most.  It’s worse than cleaning the moldy basement, worse than scouring someone else’s bathroom, worse than sifting the litterboxes.  The only reason I live in a house rather than an apartment is that apartment-living is annoying all year long—mowing only lasts 6 months or so.  But every other weekend for that six months, I’m forcing myself to drag out the mower and spend hour after hour in the heat/humidity to make the yard of my rental house conform to someone else’s standards.  If it were my house, I’d have a wildflower meadow, a Zen garden, and a vegetable garden.  There would be little or no grass.  Anything that takes longer than 30 minutes to mow with the electric mower (or better yet, my reel mower), well, that’s too danged much grass.  I despise mowing.  It’s a waste of my energy and electricity.  If I could figure out a way to squeeze a few more hours out of my already stuffed-full schedule, I would work a third job just so I could afford to pay someone else to mow my stupid yard.  Once, when I was a teenager, my folks told me to mow the yard, so I gave my brother part of my allowance to do it for me.  (As you might guess, this did not go over well with the parental units—“we told YOU to do it.”  My brother was perfectly happy with the arrangement, so I didn’t understand what the problem was.)

This year I’d really like to have some sort of picnic/cookout at my house.  Other than the fact that the grass in the backyard is up to my derrier, I have a wonderful yard.  It’s large, there are plenty of shady spots, and there’s a level spot for a table.  Now if I could just find someone to make a deal with…..mowing in exchange for dinner, or for some housecleaning?  Anyone interested?